Steve and the Salad Bartender

 Mike Du Jour
by Mike Lester

Hey Steve what's  with the extra surcharges?

Those are covid fees we've  incurred over the last few years.

 Mike Du Jour 
by Mike Lester

Fifteen dollars for U.D.I.what's that?

uncooperative diner insurance.

you're going to need it.

I'm not comfortable paying additional covid fees that you should  build into your prices.

you're right Mr. Backwax.  let me adjust your bill.

Here you go. 

Iceburg lettuce wedge fifty dollars. That's better.

what's this covid fee for PPE?

Not every customer is thrilled  with the new surcharges,  so we added a personal protective equipment fee.

for the customers? No I'm  wearing shin guards and a cup.

covid increased our sanitizing costs,  and ewe were forced  to pass them along to you.

what did you do before covid?

we used  the five second rule. 

God believe the sciece

Honestly, Mr. Backwax,  the covid fee  is a con that relies  on finding a Mark.

okay,  but how many customers come in who are named  Mark?

All of them.

how can customers avoid the covid fees?

they can call ahead and ask.

do you list the fees and the reasons they're forced to pay them?

No I just say we don't speak English.

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